“I have only read one book from Sophomore year to now”

“I once touched the cow in the fine arts hall while Mr. Shaw had his back turned”

“I gave up the first semester of Freshman year”

“I procrastinated on all my homework”

“I spent more time having mental breakdowns on 4 hours of sleep than actually enjoying myself”

“I stopped listening to my math teacher months ago”

“I broke into the teachers lounge and drank chocolate milk”